last night was the best one i've had since Rocky Horror.

Fireworks. Baseball. Wicca tribal dances. Halo. Call of Duty 4. Ke$ha. Trampolines. Counting freckles. Piggy backs. Baseball bats. Exploding soda cans..

Well this week has been interesting.

I figured out a ton yesterday with Lia, as we sat and talked for four hours. I love those talks.

Friday is going to be incredible, I can already tell. Lia, Stephanie, Kathleen and I are all going to the beach with glow sticks, my camera, Ke$ha and some form of food. I'm damn excited.

Saturday morning Joey, Lia, Nemo and I are all going to breakfast.

All in all, i love my friends.

i wanted all things to make some sense, so we could all be happy, yes, instead of tense. and i made up lies, so they all fit nice, and i made this sad world a paradise.

You only live a day, but it's brilliant anyway.

I just want to take some photos, and that is exactly what I am going to go do.

Mama's dayyy

Happy mama's day, everyone!!

Hope it was a good one. I mini golfed and ate some shit tater tots, but that's just how it goes.

As of now the guy who write Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist congratulated me on winning a national Scholastic Art and Writing Award, and a silver medal in the Push young writers contest. Out of 500 people, I was one of the 4 chosen for winning. Yay! Everyone seems much more enthusiastic then me, but whatever.

Heres the photos from the picnic, and mothers day brunch.

Yesterday

Yesterday;:


Cuddle cuddle cuddle
yay!

Today

Yes, I know that no one reads this but I post consistently anyway.

Today I went to school for the first time in ever, and this is what I wrote.

I'm back at Washburne, it's not that odd at all. People continously look at me, don't think much then double take and freak out. They all haven't seen me in over a year-- most I basicley just dissapeared the day after Easter '09. No one is being odd though, other than the initial shock. I wonder if I'll see Ellie. All the boys are growing to men. Nate, Cotten, Ben, they all aren't my little boys anymore. I remember when Nate and I dated and he was hardly my height and was so awkward and cute. Now he's tall, his voice is low and I can put my arms around his waist when I'm standing. They all tower over me, I feel like such a little girl. I'm wearing the clothes of a lady but I'm so short and tiny. People have become confident as they've grown. People who used to be just babies who I could cradle in my arms are now doing the same to me, and I am too small to hold them myself. Little boys are becoming men, and women ladies All the seventh graders are so tiny, and it's incredible to think I was that just last year. The boys all tremble and fumble with girls, with their cracking voices and awkwardly short limbs. A year later they are confident, touching girls with grace on their fingers. They don't tremble, instead, they glide. People are growing up, and it scares me. In just four years I will never see any of these people again. I've seen them grow from kindergarten to fifth grade until now. I'll try to clutch ahold of a few, but others will just slip away. I've watched them grow, I don't want to see them leave. Growing and growing up aren't the same. Growing they are still in grasp, as soon as they grow up they are gone. I feel like a mother with children ready to leave. The difference is much more apparent once you've been gone for so long. Pictures of the internet and Facebook just aren't doing any of them justice. People are more than pixels, that is for sure. I wish it was last night again, I wish I could swing through dusk just again as we had. When the bugs fly and it isn't quite dark yet but the air feels nonexistent around you, and you become one with everything. One with the plastic underneath you and the dirt in your toes. The world seems so much more confusing from upside down, and at dusk. Or twilight. One or the other.

I wish people could fall in love like they look like they do in Polaroid's. Polaroid's are the best kind of love.

Picnics on a golf course!

If only I could show you all my many Polaroid's I took today! Unfortunately, I don't have a scanner so we are just going to have to live with the idea that they are magnificent. I had a picnic today and just ate veggie straws, which are my favorite food btw, and drank pink lemonade. Hettie, Maddie, Lia, and Paul were all there. I really love those kids, and have fun with them. It's nice to come home to something as wonderful as them. After our picnic we drew on my wall, played on the swings, and laughed. Good times, good times.

Lia&&Paul, this is for you::

SKETCHY.

anywho, that was my day. i love you!

Once upon a time.

Once I knew a girl named Paris.

She showed me this whole other world. When we were together I felt like her and I could create something beautiful together even though I had felt like a monster myself at the time. We'd talk about our views and the world. I miss telling her about all my opinions and racing thoughts. We'd ride around Winnetka in her dad's convertable, top down screaming with the wind in our hair just to feel alive.

I don't miss needing something to make me feel alive, though.

But this was an exception. Everything with her felt right, and I wish I had this lady back. It's been too long.

Paris, our road trip is still on.

On another note, today I fell off my bike and almost got hit by a car, had a picnic with some lovely ladies and rode on the back of a bike while Paul swerved and got me so scared that I jumped off.

I've gotten so many battle wounds lately. Skinned my wrist while climbing on rocks, almost got hit by a car as I fell off my bike, got three blisters from new shoes and Paul whipped me in the face while we were on the swings together.

Entirely worth it

And this, was today.

eating lunch on my roof

So basicaley, this was my day.

I ran around Wilmette in short shorts and flip flops, feeling the dirt, wind, and lake envelope me. I rode a bike with two other people, and got dressed up to go down to Chicago to see my dearest Aleks. the train broke down at least four times. To get halfway across town it took an hour. Finally, I got off and went to have dinner with my mom and grandma. I wish I could of seen him, although I had fun in the end.

I was all dressed up with no where to go!

Great photo weather today. Sunny with perfect lighting.

Ate lunch on my roof, another plus.